Thursday, March 03, 2005

The Oldest Man Ever To Hit On My Wife

The oldest man ever to hit on my wife was Luderin Darbone of the Hackberry Ramblers, the hillbilly-Cajun band which has been playing continuously since 1933. At the time we saw them he was well into his eighties, and after the show he really took a shine to Sarah, sidling up to her, putting his arm around her, and chatting her up. He even gave her his card (right in front of me, the bastard!). Really though, I can't say I felt terribly threatened - except when he asked her to help him load his equipment into the van. I had a momentary flash of some terrible South Louisiana Silence of the Lambs scenario ("It puts the Tabasco on its body"), but she returned unscathed, and all was well.

Of course, rules are rules, and I had no choice but to beat him up. I felt a little bad about it - beating up old people is just way too easy - but what are you going to do?

Just kidding! One of the the rules is that really old people can hit on anyone they want with impunity. They're also allowed to cut in line at church luncheons. There have to be some perks.

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