Darth Dennis

After further reflection on the subject, I've decided that one of the problems with Cindy was the name. Who can be afraid of a Cindy? It simply does not connote terror. And Dennis has the same problem. Utterly unthreatening. We need a name that will really scare people, really make them crap their pants, or at the very least tie down their lawn furniture and fill their car with gas (upon further reflection, I suppose the pants-crapping really wouldn't be that helpful).

We can't do much about the Dennis part. That's already been decided by pasty-faced weather geeks holed up in some Dr. Strangelove-esque subterranean bunker who are undoubtedly too busy writing dirty limericks about the gals at the Weather Channel to bother coming up with any really good names. So no, we're stuck with Dennis. But that doesn't mean we can't embellish. As an initial offering I propose the following:

Darth Dennis, Damnable Deliverer of Detestable Death, Damage, Degradation, and Destruction

It's getting there but could still use some more adjectives and maybe a noun or two. Any suggestions? Once we're done, we can fire it off to all the major networks, and, before you know it, it will be tripping off the tongues of talking heads everywhere. And remember, this a public service, folks, so do it for the children.