Oh, Lord, forgive us. I knew I was opening a can of shameful nonsense when I kicked off that whole Coinage Contest thing, and it sure did get silly fast. We got a bushel of grade-A suggestions, and I was trying to decide which was my favorite, "John Dear" or "pinkneck" (screw that other site and their utterly nonsensical "existing definition" - bunch of crap... mutter... mutter...) when "John" dropped "cracker packer" on us.
I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. Is that wrong? Probably.* Does that mean we have a winner? Yes. Congratulations, "John"! You are the new reigning Queen of Slimboland. As always, expect your sparkling tiara (and your very own Pickle Me Elmo) in the mail within 4-6 weeks.
* While I can't deny that this answer caused me to laugh very, very hard, I must acknowledge that it's decidedly crude and made my culturally sensitive Superego a wee bit jumpy. However, I have consulted our Slimbo-lawyers, and they assure me that when two diametrically opposed stereotypes are merged they actually cancel each other out, so it's all perfectly kosher (uh oh, am I allowed to say "kosher"?... I think so... jeez, this whole blogging thing is a cultural minefield... oh, no! I just said "jeez"... now I've blasphemed... ack!). Also, "John" in particular can make this sort of joke because he actually is a cracker, and, although he's not technically gay, he did go to Brown which is practically the same thing.