Skorts irritate the crap out of me.*
True, this is less of a problem now than it was a few years ago when skorts were in their heyday. There was a time when I was regularly whipped into a seething fury at the site of the offending garment.** Now their frequency is diminished, but, really, even one skort is too many. And the vote has been cast, so let's talk skorts.
We must start with the understanding the that fashion is a language. So what does the skort say? It says, "I want to look like I'm wearing a skirt, but at the same time I want my bizness to be fully enshrouded in a protective layer of fabric." In other words, "I want to embrace my womanhood, but I'm completely terrified of my sexuality." This is an understandable sentiment in a pre-teen girl, which is the only group for whom skort-wearing is permissible. Among all others it is strictly absurd.*** Plus they just look plain goofy.
When Martian Law is imposed, skorts will be banned.
* Apologies to my skort-wearing readers.
** Much of my rage is directed against articles of clothing. Don't get me started on pleated pants.****
*** I dread the day I see my first ironic retro-skort (you know it's coming).
**** Apologies to my pleated-pant-wearing readers.*****
***** Apologies to my asterix-phobic readers.
Ask and ye shall receive.