"You Know, a Frog..."

It was Freshman year. Several guys on my floor had managed to scrounge up a keg. It was also Alumni weekend. Several of the particularly lame alumni had gotten wind of the keg and crashed the party under the erroneous belief that it was perfectly cool for a bunch of middle-aged men to mooch beer off of and get drunk with a bunch of eighteen year-olds.

At one point, an exceptionally freakish alumnus (he would have been perfectly cast as one of the aliens in Buckaroo Bonzai) cornered me, leaning into my personal space, and hoarsely whispered, "Hey, man. You got a frog?" I stared at him blankly. "You know, a bone?" I continued to stare at him blankly. A bone? Is this man coming on to me? Then I understood. Oh! "Reefer." "Doobie." "Ganja." "W-e-e-d." He's looking for a "joint." He'd seen my (at that time) mid-back length hair and concluded that I was "hip to the frog scene."

"Sorry, man. Can't help ya."

I like how anything can be drug lingo. And given the proper context, any drug lingo, however unfamiliar or bizarre, can be understood. Is there anything that won't work? How far is too far?

"Hey, man. You got a..."

• "toad?"
• "lizard?"
• "femur?"
• "tibula?"
• "Jamaican cannoli?"
• "turkey leg?"
• "twig?"
• "glowing finger of E.T.?"
• "swizzle stick?"
• "chicken?"
• "green bean?"
• "rocket ship?"
• "portal to an alternate dimension?"
• "Shama Lama Ding Dong?"

"Sorry, man. Can't help ya."