Saturday, April 01, 2006

Slimbolala Exclusive: Bush Administration to Sell New Orleans Back to France!

Slimbolala sources close to the White House have obtained leaked copies of a Bush administration memo indicating plans to sell the city of New Orleans back to France for the sum of fifteen dollars.

When questioned on the memo, Bush responded "New Orleans? Yeah, we really screwed the pooch on that one. I mean, what the hell are we going to do with it. Pardon my French. Heh! Let me say, the people of New Orleans are a fine people, a proud people, a people that really knows how to party. But we need to face reality. They're a pain in my ass. So to them I say via con dee-os."

Asked if the astonishingly low $15 price was a symbolic reference to the $15 million price of the original Louisiana Purchase, he answered "There's nothing the least bit symbological about it. What you people fail to appreciate is depreciation. Two hundred years is a hell of a lot of depreciation. Pardon my French. Heh! And have you seen New Orleans? It looks like a nukular bomb went off. Fifteen bucks? That's a pretty good deal."

French authorities were also questioned about the purchase, but there response was in French and consequently incomprehensible (except for numerous urgent repetitions of the phrase "le hot jazz").

A formal announcement of the deal is scheduled for Monday.

4 comments:

  1. Just what the world needs... more French!

    Bush is an April Fool. And a May fool... and a June fool.. etc.

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  2. I cannot say that I would object. At least those French, they know how to stand up for themselves...with tenacity and some serious persistence. Too bad about that anti-immigrant mentality though. Yeesh.

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  3. There was a post-Katrina flourish of French aid to New Orleans. Did anything come of it?

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  4. There will be a Louvre sponsored exhibition at New Orleans' Museum of Art. Artists were sponsored with stipends and housing arrangements in France. I believe a significant amount of money was also earmarked towards education. Correct me if I'm wrong.

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