- Hair gelled just so.
- Little, angular, pearlescent-framed glasses.
- A decidedly fancy, long-sleeved, button-down cotton shirt with an elaborate red filigree pattern against a cream backing.
- Boot-cut jeans with just the right amount of "distressing," a noticeable whisker, and elaborately detailed back pockets.
- High-end, black leather "sneakers" with yellow stripes.
- Hair gelled forward into a little peak above the forehead (the official hairdo of Gay Nation).
- A just-so tee shirt.
- Capri pants paired with flip flops.
So far so good - nothing but a bit of big city, little city, lost-in-translation fun. But now things get weird. Yesterday, the first man (he of the pearlescent glasses and bootcut jeans) was back at the coffice, and he was wearing the exact same outfit as the day before. And it wasn't a walk-of-shame, wild night and straight back to studying kind of thing. The hair was freshly gelled. Everything was neat and tidy. Clearly he had gone to bed the night before, putting everything away on its proper hanger, woken up the next morning, taken each item down, re-donned it, and headed back out into the world. Bizarre. Did Details not cover this point?
"Foul!" you cry. "I know you, Slimbolala, and you wear the same goddamned thing every day of the year." True, but mine is a uniform (a self-imposed uniform, but a uniform nonetheless). And as a uniform should be, it is aesthetically neutral. The elements are very plain and unspecific (and besides, I don't literally wear the same thing every day - I just have a closet full of identical items). This man's outfit was very specific and, consequently, not viable for frequent re-wearing. That ensemble needed a bare minimum of a week before making a reappearance (although I would recommend at least two - maybe even a month - or never - never might work). A day? Certainly not.
Slimbo's Tip: So what's today's lesson? An outfit may be worn with a frequency inversely proportional to its fanciness. In other words, if you're going to be a fancy boy, don't be the same fancy boy every day.
Next Up: Pleated pants and why a puffy crotch is not a good thing.*
* This is the part where I insult something you're wearing causing you to hate me and never read my blog again.
Ask and ye shall receive.