Dear Dr. Slim,We're on a roll. What's next?
I'm thinking of a career change, even though I currently have no career at all. Some of the possibilities I'm considering are are:
1. A Cyprus Shriner
2. A Carmen Miranda impersonator
3. A Monkey Whisperer
4. A Card Shark and/or Con Artist
Please advise on pros/cons and financial viability.
Excellent question. The correct answer is monkey whisperer. There are two reasons for this:
- I find the idea of a monkey whisperer profoundly hilarious, and you would give me great joy by adopting it as your new profession.
- Monkey whispering brings all the benefits of the other careers you mention with far less effort. Why be a Carmen Miranda impersonator when you can simply instruct one of you many monkey minions to be a Carmen Miranda impersonator (but make sure it doesn't eat the bananas off the hat - ha!)? And why be a con-artist when you can just train your mischievous but lovable con-monkeys in the artful execution of such classic monkey-cons as:
As for the Cyprus Shriner, that's not a career, it's a hobby, one for which you will have ample time as you reap the rewards of your evil ape army.
- "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil," and
- "Monkey See, Monkey Do."
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Dear Slimbolala: Softly, Softly, Catchy Monkey