Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Confessions of a Girl-Boy

Gender Studies Month continues here at Slimbolala:

I have a confession. I’m a girl-boy. No, no, not some Eugenidesian biological anomaly. And I ain't no wussie "girlie-man" either. I possess all the true manly virtues:
  • I'm a good father to my children.
  • I'm a good husband to my wife.
  • I can pack a U-Haul with vicious efficiency.
  • I once built a barn.*
  • I study maps for fun.
  • I have a little thingy on my keychain with lots of tools (including real manly tools like pliers and bottle openers, not just girlie stuff like nail files and scissors).
It's just that many of the things I think about and talk about and care about are things that traditionally fall under the Domain of the Ladies:
  • I can’t bring myself to give a damn about sports.
  • I cut hair, well, specifically my hair (no Supercuts for me, thank you very much). And when I do, I collect the trimmings on the unread Sports section.
  • I'm Decorator in Chief at our house.
  • I like to talk about people.
  • I don’t like to talk about investment strategies.
  • I collect demitasses.
  • I spend way too much time thinking about things like fashion-space.
  • I drink white wine spritzers (oh, wait - that's Euro).
  • I do yoga.
  • I have no idea what I bench press.
And I know I'm not the only one. I see you others out there with your subtly well put-together outfits and your easy rapport with women. It's time to own your girl-boyness. Throw open your windows and tell the world. I am girl-boy. Hear me roar!

What'd you say? Are you making fun of me? Shut up. I'll kick your ass!

* Well, technically, I might have had some help with this one, but let's not quibble.

8 comments:

  1. I bet you have a pink tractor in your garage. I used to be an avid sports fan, but I could really care less now. However, listening to the Spanish call the world cup games was fun this past weekend in NYC. These are your right side of the brain thingys busting out. I love talking about weirdo interesting people. I'll have to post some of my girl-boy traits sometime. Right now, I have my hands full with my monkey, Uber. Monkey see, monkey do.

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  2. I like to gossip and cook. I like antiques and I like the Roadshow and all the antiques shows on BBC America. Hell, I even know who Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen is and that's a Brit girl-boy thing...

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  3. Yes, I can feel the healing. Roar! Roar!

    And if you want to be amused, follow that Supercuts link.

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  4. you could also be a lesbian...we share many of the same ideals on your list (and speaking for the lesbian community is no small feat let me tell you) and while I appreciate your candor, I don't think your a girl boy...you're just a southern coastal man...they're often confused ;)

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  5. Perhaps a southern coastal lesbian...

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  6. And then there's people like this:
    http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

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  7. Holy Crap-er-oni! The disturbing thing is that I know a guy who looks just like that only his schtick is 60's mod-rocker, not Peter Pan.

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