Posts, Pictures, and Pointless Ephemera
weirdest job - call center rep for a company that sold herbal weight loss and erectile dysfunction remedies...weirdest thing - people would occasionally send in nude pictures of their problem areas....I turned some of the better pictures into puppets and would entertain my coworkers with the antics of mr. penis and his friends
Mr. Penis and Friends? Wow, quit your day job and take that show on the road, because that's entertainment gold right there!
Yeah - OK. I can't top that...I was going to chime in about the time I drove a truck for a major chemical company (I did deliveries within the plant) - but really, I can't top penis puppets. About the weirdest thing that ever happened driving the truck was that my co-workers were convinced that Elvis was still alive. Their convincing arguments went something like this: "iffens we drove o'er Memphis way rightchnow? And we went inna Gracelan'? And we went thur in the back? And we started tryin' to dig 'em up? Well, they'd stop us, wudn't they? Know why? 'cuz He ain't dead. THAT's why... It's a 'spiracy, I tell you. A big ole 'spiracy."I mean really, how do you argue with that logic?This is also the summer that I learned that the appropriate response to a sneeze is not "Bless You" but rather, "Ya get any on ya?"I'm cultured, boy howdy....
I'm convinced. And it might make a good plotline for pilot episode of Lee's new network series, Mr. Penis and Friends, a hilarious weekly sitcom chronicling the wacky antics of Mr. Penis and his oddball (ahem!) friends.In this episode, Mr. Penis and his pals become convinced that Elvis is still alive. They travel to Graceland and attempt to dig up his grave when they are arrested by local authorities. All appears lost, until the King, himself, alive and kicking, busts them out of jail...Alright, maybe not. But it's no worse than a lot of stuff that somehow makes it on the airwaves.
I think there's lots of cartoon material here too...shall I illustrate it or shall you, mr. lala?...Mr. Penis's sidekick was actually a scantily clad transvestite who sent a polaroid demonstrating how little our product was needed....but oddball would fit...yep, those were exciting times!
Oh no, Lee. This is strictly your, um, baby. Illustrate away. And scantily clad transvestites? Perfect.Keep us posted.
Currently I am screening e-notes sent to foreign-deployed U.S. soldiers for offensive content. I am supposed to delete anythingViolent "nuke 'em till they glow & shoot em' in the dark"Overly Religious"may the name of Jacob strengthen your sanctuary of Zion coating you with the protective blood of Jesus Christ"or Overly Political"alot of stupid hippies may be complaining but i think you're doing the right thing"I have added my own categoryToo Stupid To See The Light Of Day"Yall are the difference between us speaking English or Islam""you are doing a fine job fighting those dam muslins" (sic)(sick)And remember, freedom isn't free.
Wow. So that's what they do up there.