I imagine some of you are familiar with Gawker Stalker, the feature (and original raison d'être) of the Gawker website. They post sightings of various celebrities sent in by readers which generally go something like "Saw Matthew and Sarah Jessica canoodling at the bagel shop on Wuzza Wuzza St. and Nth Ave. Damn they're short." or "I nearly walked into Angelina Jolie as she was leaving Le Bistro Hot Cha Cha. Her lips are terrifying in person."
Now that's all well and good if you're a member of the coastal cultural elite, but what about the rest of us? What about us provincials who aren't so amply blessed with fabulous and vapid people? Let me tell you something, Mr. Big Apple and Lil Miss La La Land. We've got celebrities too. Sure, they may be a little uglier. Perhaps their teeth aren't so white. They might have bad hair. But they're ours, and we're proud of them.
So why don't we have our own Gawker Stalker, our own litle slice of the celebrity-spotting pie. We'll give it some sort of cheesy name like Big Easy Big Shots or Celebrities, Where Y'at? and do the same thing with our local luminaries: "Saw Angela Hill in the frozen foods aisle at Dorignac's buying Lean Cuisines," or "I saw what's-his-name, the good-looking young weatherman my grandma has a crush on (and I don't have the heart to tell her he's gay), on the treadmill at the gym."
I once saw Frankie of Frankie and Johnnie's "talk to the special man" fame* walking through Dillard's at the Lakeside Shopping Center dressed head-to-toe in black with his fly wide open. I so-o-o-o totally would have posted that.
* You have to follow that link. It's been years since I saw one of those.