The other day, Sarah and I got into a debate about how country I was. (Between you and me, I'm really not that country, but I'll be goddamned if I'm going to let some woman from Miami tell me so.) She cited a variety of my big city affectations, but then I bust out my trump card:
Once as a boy, after a long day traipsing about in overgrown fields, I removed eighteen ticks from myself in a single de-ticking.
Wha-bam!
That's country.*
* Perhaps you're thinking, "Wha-bam! That's gross." You're not country.
wow, that's country. i ain't country at all, but i was a country lad. 18 ticks is a lot, though. i bet i've done 4 ticks, but add to that 30,000 chiggers. i think that's country, as well.
ReplyDeletei work in manhattan and eat sushi like five times a week. anti-country almost.
I always thought that having a three legged dog would be the ultimate country.
ReplyDeleteOur dog had four legs but lots of ticks.
ReplyDeleteI once came in from riding with more than 45 wood ticks on my nekkid body! My dad burnt through three cigarettes burning 'em out of my tender 13 year old skin while I was standing in the bathtub. Chills me to this day!
ReplyDeleteYou were probably tucked into by deer ticks...they make up for it by being bigger. Lots bigger. So maybe there isn't much of a comparison.
Put me off riding for years!
yusefjournal.blogspot.com
Yoinks! Well,for whatever it's worth, my parasitic entourage was a spicy blend of big and little. The little ones are worse: itchier and harder to get off.
ReplyDelete