Sarah composed a complaint email and asked me to take a photograph of the offending results to attach. The photograph was... unflattering:
- The splotches were... splotchy.
- The close-up shot broadened her face into a mottled glowing moon.
- The dim bathroom light added an unhealthy green undertone to her vivid red pallor.
- The email would arrive in the morning inbox of whatever anorexic twenty-two-year-old aspiring fashion chicky was tasked with reading customer complaints.
- Aspiring fashion chicky would open the unfortunate attachment and snort her morning latte through her nose in a catty guffaw (nearly spilling it on her dainty Prada shoes).
- Fashion chicky would immediately forward the email to all her catty anorexic fashion pals: "OMG...!"
- An office-wide snark-fest would ensue.
- By midday, the photograph would be posted to Hot or Not, garnering tragically low rankings.
- Sarah would regret clicking "Send".
*And the splotches subsided, returning Sarah's visage to its original un-splotchy, un-moon-ish, un-red-green loveliness.