Monday, April 21, 2008

FLUSH, FLUSH, FLUSH!

Recently posted on the wall of the downstairs men's bathroom at work:



Can you make that out? Let me help:

ATTENTION ALL MEN

If on first try, it doesn't work – feel free to flush and flush again. If it still doesn't work, then you are using too much paper or the wrong kind of paper.

You know who you are!!!!!

FLUSH, FLUSH, FLUSH!


Thanks and have a Blessed day.

Allow me to enumerate what I love about this sign:
  • That it's addressed to "ALL MEN", all three-and-change billion of us.
  • Its careful wording, gingerly avoiding any specific scatological references.
  • The faux-polite "feel free to flush".
  • The detailed analysis of problematic paper usage.
  • The sudden change to a more aggressive tone, "You know who you are!!!!!" with five (5!!!!!) exclamation points.
  • The all-caps reiteration of the central theme, "FLUSH, FLUSH, FLUSH!"
  • The wonderfully passive aggressive use of "have a Blessed day,"*—capital "B".
In short, I love pretty much everything about this sign. Flush, flush, flush!

* Not unlike our old friend, "Bless his/her heart."

6 comments:

  1. Ah, interesting that this phenomenon also exists in men's bathrooms. I've seen similar passive-aggressive notes in ladies rooms, but never would have thought you gents would have such postings too.

    I like the amount of thought and care that goes into this sort of thing - composing the message, layout of text, printing of paper, careful alignment and taping of message in pertinent area.

    The best bathroom sign I have seen recently is in the ladies room in the dining hall at SJC - it lists Greek verb conjugations. Nice, and useful as studying tip for language class.

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  2. craic-head9:31 PM

    The wrong kind of paper? What else is this guy using besides standard toilet paper ("you know who you are!!!!!")? Maybe this is in fact a 5 exclamation point worthy problem.

    I'm hoping you have someone at work with whom to share the infectious catchphrase, "You know who you are!!!!!" (5 exclamation points optional, of course).

    Here's a great blog, for the most part dedicated to these hand-made/home-made signs, that takes great issue with the unnecessary use of quotation marks. Oh, grammatical superiority - good times.

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  3. Paper towels, newspaper, memoranda...

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  4. "You know who you are" --????

    Wow, so they must too. Do they watch?

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  5. craic-head12:51 PM

    ...manila file folders, poster board, post-it notes...

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  6. Anonymous8:45 PM

    A sign I have always wanted to post in the women's toilet: If you must "piss" on the toilet seat(and you know who you are!!!!!!!!!), please wipe it up. Thanks and have a nice day!

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