Thursday, April 15, 2010

Dance, Slimbo, Dance! Secrets of the Slimbo Revealed

Pookie wants to know how I became Slimbo:

There are myriad stories of Slimbo's genesis:
  1. "Slimbolala" is pidgin-Swahili for "skinny boy with big head who talks too much".
  2. Working in the lab late one evening, I was bitten by a radioactive blog.
  3. There was a time in the early days of something called the Internet when secure websites hadn't realized that most users already had a unique identifier, their email address (an identifier with the particular advantage of allowing those websites to spam their users with updates and promotions), so they obligated their users to make up user names, which was annoying because unless the user had a particularly rare name such as Enrique Frumperdink, all variations of their actual name were already taken, so the user had to do annoying things like add numbers to the ends of his or her name, but then it was hard to remember which numbers to tack on for which website (and subconsciously, our vanity protested: nobody wants to be the 23rd so-and-so; we want to be the one-and-only-one), so some users chose to abandon any semblance of their own names and make up really weird random fabricated user names that nobody else was using. Such was the case with a young gent by the name of David Olivier who, discovering that even his comparatively rare name was often taken, decided to try using "Slim" (because this young gent was what one might call wafer thinwas, not so much is), but this was also usually taken, so he tried the variation "Slimbo", but even that was often claimed, so he tacked on "la", which was the abbreviation of the state in which the young gent resided, but "Slimbola" sounded like an unpleasant virus, so he tacked on another "la", and it turned out that absolutely nobody in the whole wide world was using "Slimbolala" as a user name for anything, and so he stuck with it. And then one day the young gent's wife politely suggested that he find a wider(/alternate) audience for his babbling chatter, so he started a blog, and not giving it much thought (since he never expected it to last more than a week or be read by more than two people), he named the blog (and his blogger-persona) "Slimbolala". And so it was. And so it is.
  4. Slimbolala is not actually the creation of any single auteur but is the work of an infinite number of monkeys (with a fetish for hyphens and footnotes (and parentheses)) typing on an infinite number of laptops for an infinite period of time.
And there are countless other legends, each true in its own way (though some are, perhaps, truer than others), each reflecting some aspect of the ultimate unspeakable truth. So say I.* So say we all.

* "I" in this case being an infinite number of (hyphen-and-footnote-and-parentheses-loving) monkeys.

6 comments:

  1. Marco5:32 PM

    The Infinite Monkey Theory is very intriguing given our pro-monkey stance. This section of the Wiki IMT entry, however, somewhat dampens my hope for an ironic monkey-authored HBO mini series:
    "Unlike apes and particularly chimpanzees, the evidence suggests that monkeys lack a theory of mind and are unable to differentiate between their own and others' knowledge, emotions, and beliefs. Even if a monkey could learn to write a play and describe the characters' behavior, it could not reveal the characters' minds and so build an ironic tragedy."

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  2. I am very happy about the number of links and the quality of links in this article. Also, very happy to discover the possible origins of your name. Thank you.

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  4. Anonymous1:10 PM

    Fascinating! I believe all of all of them!!

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  5. pookie9:38 PM

    Thanks, Slimbo. I like the first story best!

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  6. ef III2:24 PM

    as i did not authorize your use of my name in your little blog thing, i must request that you remove it effective immediately and find some other allegedly rare moniker to suit your expository purposes. my family in particular find this name to be quite common and not the least bit remarkable.

    yours in dead earnest,

    enrique frumperdink, III

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