Monday, June 07, 2010

See Above

Yeah, some folks have noticed my (near) absence of comment on the gushing torrent (that ain't no spill) of oil in the Gulf. It's because, to date, if I was going to say anything on the subject, it would be something along the lines of:
fuck-you-you-fucking-fucks-how-could-you-be-so-fucking-stupid-because-although-I'm-no-fucking-oil-expert-I-do-build-things-for-a-living-and-I-also-have-an-iota-of-common-sense-and-understand-the-basic-concept-that-your-tests-and-precautionary-countermeasures-should-be-in-proportion-to-the-risks-and-potential-negative-consequences-of-failure-and-when-the-potential-negative-consequence-is-that-you-destroy-the-whole-fucking-Gulf-of-Mexico-and-billions-of-organisms-living-there-and-the-livelihoods-of-thousands-and-thousands-of-people-throughout-the-region-and-turn-the-whole-place-into-a-cataclysmic-deadzone-for-years-and-decades-to-come-when-that's-the-potential-negative-consequence-then-your-tests-and-countermeasures-better-be-really-fucking-good-and-you'd-better-duplicate-and-triplicate-and-quad-whatever-the-fuck-icate-them-(and-if-you-don't-know-how-to-legitimately-mitigate-a-failure-then-you've-got-no-business-doing-the-fucking-thing-in-the-first-place)-but-you-didn't-do-that-because-you-all-are-some-sloppy-fucks-and-doing-all-that-was-expensive-and-you-just-thought-to-yourselves-what-could-happen?-what-are-the-chances?-and-besides-it's-all-legal-because-the-folks-regulating-you-say-it's-okay-and-honestly-you've-almost-got-a-point-with-last-one-because-really-you-all-are-the-oil-industry-and-everyone-expects-you-to-be-a-slimy-bunch-of-fucks-but-the-regulators-are-supposed-to-stop-you-from-being-as-slimy-as-you-want-to-be-but-the-regulators-were-just-rubber-fucking-stamping-the-whole-fucking-deal-because-the-regulators-have-been-drinking-the-same-anti-regulation-kool-aid-that-we-as-a-nation-have-collectively-been-swilling-for-the-past-three-decades-and-the-regulators-were-put-in-place-by-the-politicians-we-collectively-voted-for-who'd-also-been-swilling-that-same-kool-aid-and-now-we've-actually-gotten-exactly-what-we-asked-for-and-how-could-we-have-been-so-fucking-stupid-and-yeah-the-federal-response-has-sucked-but-we-expect-the-federal-response-to-suck-(especially-when-they-occur-down-this-way-because-apparently-we're-missing-from-Google-Maps-and-it-always-takes-them-at-least-a-week-or-fucking-two-to-figure-out-how-to-get-here)-so-that's-why-it's-so-important-stop-the-disasters-before-they-happen-and-all-in-all-I'm-just-really-mad-as-fuck-that-right-when-our-region-was-starting-to-get-back-on-its-feet-we-have-to-go-through-this-crap-all-over-again
But this is a family blog, and I thought I should say something more articulate and measured,* so I restrained myself. But you know what? That felt pretty good. And actually, it articulates pretty much exactly what I mean to say. And given the epic scale of this frak-up**, it's really quite measured—even understated. So I guess there it is. What do I have to say about the gushing torrent? See above.

* And also, this thing is a creepy post-modern disaster, not the classic man-v.-nature devastation of Katrina, which though undeniably awful was at least clearly what it was. This thing is insidious: the sun still shines, life goes on as usual (at least here in town, back from the coast a bit), but out there in the deep the toxic crud gushes forth unabated, spreading its tendrils into the unknowable future, potentially causing far worse long-term damage than any storm ever did.

** This blog will now revert to its usual PG rating, only using curses that are offensive in the alternate fictional universe of BSG.

8 comments:

  1. If EVER there was a time to do a podcast.....

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  2. Anonymous3:54 PM

    What a fucking spectacular rant!

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  3. Your timing is impeccable. The evening before I read this, I happen to have Netflixed Spike Lee's 25th Hour, which contains this spectacular rant-as-homage to New York City in the wake of 9/11:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ponWum-8JRc

    I attempted to read yours out loud to my fiancée in the spirit in which it was written, and the hyphenation nearly made me hyperventilate and pass out. Bravo!

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  4. Marco7:09 AM

    Genius, in an-Ashley-Morris-sorta-way.

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  5. pookie2:48 PM

    Could not have been said better!

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  6. Very thought provoking comments.

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  7. You got is so so right. The f word fails us at this time, we need so much more, but you gave it great windup and delivery.

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