Beardolala

One of the great advantages of this new digital age, in my opinion, is the ability to text-taunt one's significant other at his or her job:

Sarah is neutral on the subject of facial hair in general but opposed to it on my particular face. And because I'm a cruel and vicious husband, lately I've been drawrin' up various beard-options* and texting them to her while she's at work (preferably in some very important meeting where laughing out loud** would be wildly inappropriate). Thus far:


It ain't gonna happen, but if it was, it would be this.


No.


No no.


This one terrifies me.


Hmm, I'm kind of digging it. Whatchya think, Sarah?

Have I neglected any options?

* Digi-drawrin', actually—the facial hair—with this handy dandy doo-dad on my shiny old toy (a sort of narcissistic digitized version of that old Wooly Willy game with the metal filings and the magnet).

** She knows they're idle threats. I'm also neutral on the subject of facial hair in general but opposed to it on my particular face.