Slim's Parenting Tips: "Spoiled First World Children"

One of the principal jobs of a parent is to teach his or her children to keep things in perspective. But how? I suggest you teach them with a song. For example, whenever my youngsters start fussing that they don't like their dinner, or they wish they had this or that gadget or doo-dad, I sing them a little ditty:

Spoiled First World children,
You fuss all day long.
Spoiled First World children,
This is your song.
Your bellies are full.
You laugh and play.
But not all children
Live that way.
Spoiled First World children,
I sing this song for you.¹

It has a cheery little melody. The lyrics vary each time, depending on the circumstances. Feel free to use it. Let me tell you, kids love it.<sup>2

1</sup> In their defense, they're really not very spoiled (not by First World standards), but I like to think this song is helping keep them that way.

² Okay, that's a lie; they hate it. But it is effective. Now, all I have to do is hum a couple of bars, and they instantly quit their fussing (so they can shriek, "Papa, stop!").