Camo Snuggie

I like to start my day out on the balcony, sitting, gulping my night-before coffee, clearing the brain-box, readying for the day to come. But this time of year, it gets chilly, like actually less than sixty degrees.¹ I used to have a Snuggie which helped wonderfully with this problem.² Then somehow I lost it. (How does one lose Snuggie? I don't know.) And it's been a painful absence in my heart ever since.³

But the... but then... the other day at Walgreens, I saw it, a camouflage Snuggie, and I knew it must be mine. Chilly mornings shall never bother me again.⁴ (Plus it will go nicely with my orange camo hat.⁵) I strongly recommend that you get one.

1 I joke. We get a lot colder than that. But I do start to get grumpy when it hits the fifties. And the forties and thirties? Blech. I'm burying myself under the covers. Call me when it's ninety again.

2 I bought it as a half-joke for Sarah — a half joke because she's chronically cold and I knew, though she would laugh, she'd actually use it. But then I discovered how well it suited my balcony needs and I stole it back.

3 This was of course a solvable problem. These things are sold at every drug store. But I was convinced its rediscovery was imminent and a repurchase was unnecessary.

4 And if I ever choose to get cozy in a patch of woodland greenery, I'll be really hard to see.

5 I can only assume this this penchant for camouflage items is some sort of subconscious harkening back to my country youth, where guys spent a lot of time trying very hard to make sure the turkeys and deer wouldn't see them.⁶

6 Lord, somebody woke up on the footnote-y side of the bed this morning.