Friday, January 13, 2006

Grape Pie

There is a scene from Curb Your Enthusiasm that has made a permanent contribution to our marital lexicon. In it, Larry has made some series of blunders (of course) resulting in him and his wife, Cheryl, missing their flight and having to make a long and tedious drive to a family wedding.

The camera cuts to a scene mid-trip. Cheryl is sitting in exasperated silence. Larry is in the middle of what is clearly a lengthy, stream-of-consciousness diatribe (allow me to paraphrase): "...There's grape jelly. There's grape candy. But there's no grape pie. Why is that? Why is there no grape pie?..."

Sarah and I both laughed in immediate recognition. I can't deny it. I am prone to ruminating out loud, at length, about nothing in particular in the company of my wife: "Doesn't this song sound just like some Jimmy Buffet song? Listen. Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, totally. 'Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes...' It's totally that song!"

Now, "grape pie" has come to symbolize, for us, the entire category of my aimless (sometimes infuriating) musings. Come to think of it, this entire blog is pretty much nothing but "grape pie", but, for some reason, you crazy kids keep coming back. And, come to think of it, it was Sarah's idea for me to start this thing in the first place. I suppose she was hoping I would channel all that grape-pie-energy into some more "fruitful" outlet.

Hmm, why is there no grape pie?


  1. Who you callin' a kid?

    I just come here so I can post my own tangents, like this one: My Sarah* and I have a similar code, called "White Hole", from the Red Dwarf episode of the same name. In a white hole, time is being spewed back into the universe, causing events to repeat themselves and conversations to recur. This is aptly illustrated by the following scene:

    CAT: So, what is it?
    KRYTEN: I've never seen one before -- no one has -- but I'm guessing it's a white hole.
    RIMMER: A white hole?

    This exact scene recurs again a minute or two later, and, partially, a third time further on (I realise it loses something in the retelling. But I'm rambling here. Don't interrupt.)

    Anyway, I've adopted the phrase "A white hole?" in my lexicon to mean, basically, this is a conversation we've already had, and we've just said exactly the same things we said last time, and further, if we were to continue, we would continue to repeat the same things we have previously said when we previously continued. Therefore, we ought to stop while we're ahead and preemptively take back those few minutes of our life that might be much more productively used by, for example, eating pie.

    The end.

    * I don't mean this as a possessive noun, so back off, liberated women. I'm just clarifying that I'm not talking about Slimbolala's Sarah, but an entirely different Sarah with whom I cohabitate.

  2. Anonymous10:04 AM

    The french make a grape tart (basically a fruit tart made exclusively with grapes).

  3. I'll pass it along to Larry. I'm sure he'll be relieved.