Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Resonant Dork Frequency

We all have some dork in us. In the proper proportions, this is a good thing. It is the part of us that gets goofy and excited and talks to fast and snorts beverages out of our nose and generally just forgets to be cool when something pushes our dork buttons.

Sometimes we find other people with a similar set of dork buttons (a similar dork bag, if you will). And when we interact with these individuals, the combination of the dorkinesses (dorki) is not merely additive. The dorki amplify each other. Dork A emits dorkiness. Dork B receives that dorkiness, amplifies it, and re-emits. Dork A receives that dorkiness, and repeats, forming a dork feedback loop. Before long, both individuals are complete, doofy spazzes, incapable of maintaining the slightest bit of cool. These individuals are said to share a resonant dork frequency.

Let's look at some examples. In the so-called "real" world, I share a resonant dork frequency with Jeff. We spend way too much time creating ridiculous faux-taxonomies of stupid stuff and absolutely bogus Venn diagrams of things we know nothing about. In the so-called "virtual" world of "cyber" space, I share a resonant dork frequency with Wesley, who not coincidentally was the first to vote for this topic.* We have both made independent forays into spam poetry, and I just love it when he does that emacs humor.

There are as many different dork frequencies as there are ways to be uncool. You might have a friend with whom you just go ga-ga when that certain Go-Gos song comes on. Or you get all in a tizzy about casseroles. Or... well, actually you might be the only one who gets in a tizzy about casseroles so you'll probably have to go dorko-solo on that. But you get the general idea.

Dorkiness is unavoidable. Resonant dork frequencies are dictated by the laws of nature. The important thing is to know it. Own your dork bag. Own your frequency. Be the dork you truly are. Let your dork flag fly.**

* But he used the acronym form, RDF, which is, of course, a very dorky thing to do. But of course, it was just a joke referencing my joke - which is to say a meta-joke. And I just love meta-humor. And I love stupid acronyms. And... Well, you see what I'm talking about.

** Just not too much, because that would be, you know, kind of dorky.

Ask and ye shall receive.


  1. Ooo! Ooo! Oooo! I LOVE Venn diagrams--my fourth graders really get to see my inner dork blurp up and out into the classroom when I put up that overhead transparency of the two interlocking circles. In fact, next week I am going to bust out the three and four set diagrams (snort, snort, wheeze, snort).
    Speaking of snorting dorks, I was in California last week, visiting home--I suppose that it's probably way passe to describe my childhood home as "Silicon Valley" anymore, but when I was a kid, Silicon Valley it was, and Kingdom of the Dorks. I used to go to work with my mom sometimes and hang with the engineers--initiated into the mysteries of Dorkdom--anyway, my mom was telling some story about her job and technical nomenclature and made reference to "the proper TLAs". There was a pause as she I faced off over this, until I broke and asked whether that was, in fact a joke, and she said that it was, in fact a joke, and then I lost it. Totally dorky.
    TLA. Get it? Three Letter Acronym.
    Meta-beautiful! Took me back to the days in the Mainframe Room.

  2. Anonymous11:01 PM

    I feel this begs the question: dork vs. geek vs. nerd? Granted, they are all aspects of a unified whole, but slight distinctions exist.
    As for me, I am nerd. And darn happy about it.

  3. Anonymous12:31 AM

    So that would really be an Euler diagram, not a Venn, no?

    And I'm such a luddite, I use emacs for no other reason than the fact that I can go into TPU emulation mode, and use the same editor I've been using for 26 years. Long live the VAX. Long live DEC.

    And I have 2 freakin' Venn diagrams on my website. The borg is assimilating me!!!!

    And RDF is a TLA....and, and, and...

  4. Thanks, Slimbo, for indulging my request.*

    Lori: Dork vs. nerd vs. geek? How much time do ya got? I mean, I think it can be rather quickly established whether an individual is one of the three. But, like quantum physics, the more you try to observe and classify one of those three properties, the more fuzzy the others become...

    * I know you weren't really trying to rhyme casseroles and dorko-solos, but it almost worked, and that's scary.

  5. I believe that, like the horse-bird-muffin triad, one is not necessarily just a dork, nerd, or geek. One may be some combination of two or three of these elements in various proportions.