Wednesday, April 26, 2006

When the Vans Are Rockin'...

This blog truly is your blog and Teresa and Robo want to know about my new shoes. I know what you're thinking, "Oh, thank God! Slim you're an okay guy, and, hey, we all want to save the world, but Jeez! Can't you take a break once in a while? Enough with the doom and gloom, the heavy stuff, the great issues of our day. Lighten up. Yes, please. Tell us about your shoes, the new ones? We're all dying to know."

They're Vans slip-ons.

"What? Vans? Vans? You have abandoned the Code of the Converse? The everpresent Chucks? Is there nothing we can count on in this crazy, new post-Katrina reality?"

Please, no need for hysteria. It's okay. Really. Vans have been permissible, alternate hipster-footwear for some time now. Apparently, there was an article a while back in Hipster Nation, but due to the moratorium on periodicals, I, like so many of my fellow citizens, was left in the dark. So sad, an entire city stuck in perpetual fashion stasis, the endless Summer, 2005. But now we must move forward, embrace change, and build a brighter, trendier future.

And not to worry, the Chucks are not being supplanted, merely complemented. They are still de rigeur everyday-wear. The Vans will be reserved strictly for appropriate occasions: boating parties, boat-themed parties, boating accidents, and the like. I believe they will be a new and delicious element in my wardrobe, augmenting and enhancing the other elements while still preserving their own distinctive flavor... like a gumbo.

And the color? "Espresso," natch'! Solid, beautiful brown. No fancy doo-dads and loop-dee-loops for this obsessive compulsive, thank you very much. Like the Switzerland of fashion, I will continue to maintain my aesthetic neutrality.

Now, then. Aren't you glad you asked?

Ask, and ye shall receive.


  1. Anonymous3:29 PM

    But what can 'aesthetically neutral' mean besides 'neither beautiful nor ugly'? (cf Switzerland: neither on one side nor the other.) You clearly don't believe your shoes, for example, are neither beautiful nor ugly. At least, you'd be wrong if you did. I think you must mean that your shoes and attire achieve their particular beauty through plain and simple means.
    But that is 'aesthetic simplicity', not neutrality. And in the pitched battle between the beautiful and the ugly, the faction of aesthetic simplicity might be one of the most partisan and bloody.
    Of course, I'm in that faction with you.

  2. Anonymous6:36 PM

    We know the perfect boat party...

  3. When I was back home a couple of weeks ago, I was happy to hear that KSJS still sounds exactly as amateur and dorky as it did in 1986. I was always an outsider on the surf punk/Black Flag/Industrial and all that other college radio stuff 20 years ago, but I did listen to KSJS a bit.
    Anyway--there were these two guys in eighth grade with me who were certainly on the inside of the scene. They both wore Vans. One day, one of them--Dave Mollnar, I believe--showed up at school with some new Vans. They were Hawaiian print Vans. His buddy looked down at them and said, "Dude! Someone spilled salad on your shoes!" I thought then--and think now--that that was pretty witty, and in an uncharacteristically-for-Junior-High gentle way.
    Always wanted some of my own.

  4. Portipont, it's not too late. Don't let life pass you by. Go, go to the internet, and buy, buy the shoe you've always wanted! Now is the time!

  5. Anonymous2:37 PM

    You know, they still make checkerboard.

  6. Anonymous12:07 PM

    curious to see what your hyperlink to gumbo was, i clicked to find your post about the turkey gumbo i made at your house. curious to seee what your hyperlink to Ville Platte was, i clicked to find my hometown's website(?)! you'll be proud to know that your friend (this friend) from VP is on the front page of said website. she's the girl on the float(upper right side of page) wrapped in a trash bag during the rainstorm of 1987 that nearly ruined the Cotton Festival. She was a singing Goodwill Ambassador to all visiting royalty. there you go, Slim.

  7. Wow, my head is reeling. And the king of the cotton festival that year? Kevin Bacon. Ding, ding, ding! I win!