Thursday, August 31, 2006

"Very... Efficient"

The other day, Sarah was in the kitchen, cooking up a storm with four burners going and a meatloaf in the oven. She turned to me and said, "He was right. I am very efficient."

Perhaps, I should elaborate. The aforementioned "he" was a college professor* of mine. And the aforementioned "he" was also... mmm... how to put this delicately?... a catty old queen. I'll call him Dr. Meow Meow.

It was Senior year, and Sarah and I were checking out the brand new fancy grocery store that had just opened up in town. Rounding the bend, we ran into Dr. Meow Meow pushing his little cart full of gourmet goodies down the aisle. We exchanged pleasantries. I introduced him to Sarah. They made small talk about the best type of rice for risotto, the wide selection of mushrooms, etc. Eventually, the chit-chat drew to a close. He paused, gave Sarah one last look from head to toe, turned to me, and smiling coyly said "She seems very... efficient." He bid his toodle-oo and went on his way.


Sarah was, quite rightly, pissed. It was nothing nice, no matter which way you slice it. But time passed, and the claw-marks faded. What had been a rankling source of anger gradually became a running joke. We couldn't help but acknowledge that Dr. Meow Meow's comment, while undeniably bitchy, was also right on the money. She is very... efficient.

Maybe I should get it embroidered on an apron for her. I'm sure she'd love that.

* Yes, Johnny-geeks, I know. "Tutor." Forgive me.


  1. Anonymous10:29 AM

    If you do it on a pink apron, you can get away with it.

  2. Don't you know sour grapes when you taste them?

  3. Settle an issue for us: discussing this with Beth the other night we both figured pretty quickly which catty queen you write about, except for one detail--the "cart full of gourmet goodies." All else fits the profile of the one we are thinking of, but the one we have in mind subsists almost entirely, it seems, on microwave brown and serve meatballs and mini-grahams. Is the 'gourmet goddies' an embellishment, or do we have to revise our guess?