Saturday, October 14, 2006

"A Piece of Cake"

Our friend, a mother of three, including a recently added wee one who wakes up frequently during the night, leaving our friend spacy and grumbly for much of the day, was attending the gymnastics class of child #2. As she sat with a gaggle of other waiting moms, one of them, also the mother of a recently added third, piped up cheerily and went on at length about how "the third one's just a piece of cake," and how smoothly everything's going, and how much energy has, and just generally how peachy everything is.

She was asked, "Aren't you tired? Don't you have to feed during the night?"

"Oh, no... We have a baby nurse."*

Money should come with an instruction manual (one that includes the rule "Don't blather on about the glorious benefits your wealth affords you to precisely those people who are most acutely feeling the absence of the aforementioned glorious benefit"). Some people clearly need it.

* Just to clarify, a baby nurse is the kind individual who you pay to live in your house and get up in the middle of the night and do all the unfun, grueling things that deprive new parents of sleep and render them spacy and grumbly for much of the day.


  1. Anonymous1:19 PM

    As a father of 3, the oldest being 4 years old, please whack said person with "baby nurse" in the face with a snowshovel.

    Thank you.

  2. Anonymous12:20 AM

    ... and a sunbonnet.

  3. She ought to read Rousseau's Emile. Or she ought to have read it about 11 months ago.

    A baby nurse? I was half expecting that this 'nurse' was some kind of machine you hook the kid up to that monitors and diagnoses and feeds--a computer, some tubes, maybe with a terrible, plastic cartoon face and some fur. Wouldn't even have to pay it.

  4. I'm releived. I was thinking wet nurse. Does anyone even do that anymore?