Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The Best Word in the Whole Wide World

I'm really very fond of the "Battle Royale" methodology as a tool for selecting the best among a set of many things. It's quite simple.
  1. Arbitrarily pick any two items from the set.
  2. Choose the best of the two, the reigning champion, and toss the loser.
  3. Arbitrarily pick a new item, the challenger.
  4. Compare the reigning champion to the challenger, choose the best of the two, and toss the loser.
  5. Repeat until there are no more challengers. What you're left with is the best.
We're all familiar with this process. It shows up all the time in that thing you people call "sports". But I like the idea of applying the "Battle Royale" to anything.

I was first introduced to the generalized form by our dear friend Herr Professor M (also known as the "King of the Categorical Imperative" or the "Ayatollah of Ethics-ola" though his closest friends usually just call him the "Kant-meister") who used it for selecting videos at the store. In those pre-Netflixian days, I was myself desperately prone to wasting countless hours in the video store lost in an indecisive tizzy, and I took his message to heart.

Of course we've used the "BR-technique" before here at Slimbolala with our thwarted attempt to determine the Best Thing in the Whole Wide World. (Who can forget the legendary Carol Channing vs. Turkey Pot Pie debates?) But perhaps our ambitions were too grand. (Fly not so close to the sun, O Slimbo! Your wings will fail you!*) Perhaps we tried too hard.

So let's tackle something simpler, something nice and easy. How about let's just figure out the Best Word in the Whole Wide World. As always, there are absolutely no rules or guidelines—other than, um, all those rules and guidelines at the top of this post with all the little numbers—that way, it crashes quicker and burns brighter. (Ooh, pretty!) So let's get started—me first. (It's my blog. Git yer own damn blog.) I'm going with:
  1. (Historical) A Muslim official or governor under the Mogul empire.
  2. A very wealthy or influential person.
Your turn. Top that.

* This is my second lame Daedalus reference in recent memory. What's up with that?**

** This is my umpteenth lame "What's up with that?" reference in recent memory. What's up with that?


  1. Anonymous7:20 PM


  2. Anonymous7:46 PM


    Hah. Thought I was gonna say f***mook, din't ya?

    Close: troika, maherajah, bodhisattva, onomatopoeia

  3. Anonymous1:13 AM

    I see that food is already on the minds of others in this game, but here in Austin whenever I say this word people look at me hoping the explanation matches the exoticness of the sound. They are never disappointed. That word is of course.......muffaletta.

  4. Anonymous8:47 AM


  5. Anonymous10:56 AM

    I like "sizzle". And "kerfuffle"

  6. My God, I'm frozen with indecision. (It's like the video store all over again.) Troika? It's not even an official choice, but it's somehow calling my name...

  7. Anonymous8:17 PM


    Say it a few times.

  8. Wait, no... "squelch", definitely "squelch". I think...

    1. Anonymous3:50 PM

      yes squelch its so good I'm going to write it on a cake its that awesome!!! squelch!!! Te he

  9. Anonymous9:11 AM


  10. Anonymous5:33 PM

    serendipities (in the plural is best, as in, "a pleasant series of serendipities...)

  11. Anonymous3:09 PM

    I like mugwump. And euphemism. And bother.

  12. Grace

    This conjures all the best in the world - I must admit I am also partial to kumquat

  13. Anonymous6:14 AM

    Clunge.. That's my pick. It's a polite was to say cu*t to your grandparents

  14. Anonymous1:16 PM

    popinjay a vain talkative person

  15. Anonymous1:17 PM

    popinjay a vain talkative person !!!

  16. Anonymous7:09 AM


    rols off the tongue nicely and just begs to be said again

  17. Anonymous3:56 AM

    Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis - Who doesnt like this word!!!!! especially when said of the guy at!!! yay

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  19. Anonymous4:01 PM

    I'M creating a new word Jasoned. It's when the year goes by to quickly and all it seems to do is rain. Example: "hey mate the year just ended" "really, its gone so quick and all its done is rained" "I know mate but it has ended" "Are well that's Jasoned!!" spread the word!!! It will be in the dictionary by Christmas!!!