Friday, August 01, 2008

Quizzical Friday: Ne'er Swear*

Pop Quiz: What sort of goofy substitute curses did your teachers try to sell you on?

I had a teacher who tried to convince us, instead of swearing, to use:
"crystal buckets"
She claimed that swear words are so satisfying because of the particular phonetic components they contain. And "crystal buckets" supposedly contains all of these particularly gratifying combinations. So... crystal buckets! All of the catharsis and none of the cursin'!

It never worked for me. (I'm a big fan of good old-fashioned honest swearing—mumbled discretely under one's breath so the teacher can't hear, of course.)

* I tried to think of some nifty coinism to label this category of faux-curse. I don't think this is it. ( I was going for a sort of near-beer/ne'er-swear rhyming thing, but...) Any suggestions?


  1. Anonymous6:59 PM

    Well, not the classroom (though I do remember my 3rd grade teacher overly fond of "Jeepers Crow!"), but around the house we'd mumble all things Yosemite Sam:

  2. Anonymous11:10 PM

    My mother used to exclaim, "My garden seeds!" This served as both an exclamation of surprise and as a negative comment. Then there was the ultimate insult hurled be an old man of French decent, "Visigoth!" But he meant it in its original sense. Old hostilities die hard. Sigh.

  3. "My garden seeds"—curious, curious. What' the origin? Hmm. And "Visigoth", I like it.

    I also very much like "rassa-frassa", "fricka-fracka", "racking-fracking" et al. They have a delightfully Tourretic mouth-feel. (I'll have to do refresh my Yosemite-knowledge-base.) And they remind me of my favorite faux-cuss (maybe that's it—"faux-cuss"—sounds like "fo-cus"?), "frak". Fellow BSG-ers, are you with me? Are you with me? Frak, frak, frak, frak, frak, frak, frak. Highly cathartic.

  4. My grandmother said, "Garden seeds!" too. She grew up in Bigstone Gap, VA. I'd never heard it except from her or my mom. I was raised in Seattle--always wondered if it was a regional thing.