Saturday, May 09, 2009

Gimme a Backstory! Face-Tat Edition

* That's for sure true.

How about another round of "Gimme a Backstory!":
Name: ?

Deal: ?
Points will be awarded for impish roguery, blind luck, and Faulknerian excess.


  1. Marco7:29 AM

    Leonard Grimes is known for his acts of cruelty to small animals. He is wanted by PETA in 46 states. Strangely he is also the popular author of childrens books that have a Gothic tinge to them. So he is on the book circuit too and PETA has a difficult time keeping up with him. He and his two brothers live on a gray boathouse in the Delta. They eat only fried catfish. To signify this he had a cross tatooed on his forehead.

  2. Oh shit-- that’s Curlybird Lucho! I think... Assuming it’s him, I’ll tell you what I know of his testimony: He grew up in Eagle Pass and started spending a good six months of every year in jail pretty early in his teens. However he didn’t get put away for a good long time until he held up a all girls prep school in Dallas, which he mistook for a convent when he was high. He claimed to be looking for someone named Sister Xavier whom he says put a demon snake up his nose when he was seven. He found God when he was in prison (hence the tat) and when he got out went east to New York City to work as one of Dave Wilkerson’s private goons behind the scenes at the Times Square Church. He carries a semiautomatic, a dog-eared spiral bound notebook, and claims to be able to raise the dead. He’s got a practically invisible profile nowadays but to those who know, he’s one of the heavy hitters in the shadow evangelical mob scene. I only know about him because I used to live with this guy who got sucked into that world. One day he’s introducing Curlybird Lu as his new spiritual mentor and the next he’s gone with every scrap of underwear I own, including my socks. I haven’t heard from either of them since.

    Where did you see him? Maybe it’s not to late to get my delicates back.

  3. Anonymous11:14 AM

    What a story blurry yellow. I believe every word of it!