Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Ironic Inventory

We've focused on ironic mustaches in great detail (and more recently touched on ironic eye wear), but these are just a few select genres in a broader pantheon of ironic accoutrements. Might I suggest that we assemble an Ironic Inventory, a comprehensive taxonomy of ironic accessorizing? (And we'll assemble a Human Genome Project-style data bank of ironic stylings, and then we can publish a scholarly journal, Ironic Stylings Quarterly, and then we can publish a popular weekly, Irony Today, and it'll be beautiful, man, beautiful.)

Particularly choice ironic stylings witnessed recently:
  • A guy in full-on ironic 70s rock/groove-wear: long center-parted hair, knit headband, a knittish pilly textured (forgive me fashionistas—I'm fabric terminology deficient) short-sleeved over-tight v-necked sweater with horizontal stripes of orange, brown, and cream; worn with way way way too tight matching cream-colored jeans that revealed way way way too much about the ironist's man-business.
  • Ironic quail pants—you know, those khakis with the little embroidered quail or pheasants or grouses or whatever. (Having attended an Episcopalian prep school in central Virginia in the 80s, I had way way way too much exposure to these and similar ultra-preppy trends in their original entirely sincere form, and I find their modern day tongue-in-cheek reappropriation really really really weird.)
  • A guy with an ironic mustache actually wearing an ironic "Free Mustache Rides" t-shirt. (I don't make this stuff up out of thin air.)
  • And much much much more that sadly escapes my recollection at the moment. (I'll have to take better notes.)
What have you got? Share your sightings.


  1. craic-head9:57 PM

    Ironic quail pants? What the hell are those? They're not like the ones on this website, are they?

    (I'm lost. Help me out here.)

  2. In my neck of the ironic woods there seems to be a trend towards ironic male pattern baldness. I don't know if this is because all of our hipsters are nearing 40 or because keeping up with ironic fashion trends is stress inducing. But male pattern baldness alone does not irony make. No, the remaining tufts must be over grown and wildly out of control. Curly hair is a plus, but straight hair can be styled into a mess too.

  3. Teresa11:49 AM

    I work with a guy who has an ironic mohawk. He's not at all punkrock - he's more of the hipster gay artist type. Super dapper. Sometimes he styles his mohawk into a very chic bun on top. It's hard to do it justice without a photo or drawing; it's really quite pretty. He wears a kilt on dressy days, too.

  4. craic-head3:39 PM


    Three things of note there...
    1) The for real full price was one hundred and fifty-nine dollars,
    2) They're selling them by virtue of this statement:
    "We know these pants are sure to receive praise everywhere you wear them!", and
    3) You should expect to see a lot of these at fund-raising events for Lou Gehrig's Disease.

    (Pretty damn weird in their non-ironic mode as is.)

  5. Re: ironic male pattern baldness. There was an article in the New York Times style section a while back asserting some along the lines of: Paunches are the new trend among hipsters in Brooklyn because it's uncool to look like you spend all your time going to the gym. (For men, that is. Women, of course, are still required to be fabulously teeny.) I'm not sure which is goofier: paunch-chic or the NYT writing an article about it.

    Re: quail pants. Them's the ones!

  6. have you seen this:

    watchout- potty-mouth warning

  7. Wow, pretty much endlessly entertaining (though yes, rather potty-mouthed).