Friday, July 24, 2009

Stanley Screamer

As I walked into the break room to heat my lunch, I glanced up at the TV—tuned to the usually innocuous Weather Channel—and was startled to see footage of a dog doing that nasty thing some dogs do where they plop down on their butts with their back legs splayed and scooch themselves forward with their front legs, achieving some sort of icky posterior scratch, the motivations for which I don't particularly want to ponder.* Adding to the ick-factor, this particular dog was doing its particular pooch-scooch across thick white plush carpeting. Eww!** Though the shot lasted only a second, it was enough to make me less enthusiastic about the leftover Indian I was about to microwave. Then the big Stanley Steemer logo flashed up on the screen, presumably offering their services if you have the misfortune to become the owner of a thick white plush carpet with a big streak of pooch-smoodge. Oh. But still: Eww!

The stomach turning commercial is enough to warrant a boycott, and henceforth, I shall turn to any other "steemer" in the Yellow Pages before availing myself of their services (though my boycott may not be particularly effective, since I have never availed myself of their services in the past). Up with people! Down with publicly aired pooch-scooch! Up with people! Down with...!

* We had a friend in college who used to do an unnervingly accurate imitation of of this.

** I have to wonder how they made this commercial. Was it a trained dog? And if so, how does one train a dog for this particular activity? Or was someone just like, "Oh yeah, my dog does that all the time. Just keep the camera rolling, and it'll happen..."?


  1. Teresa3:32 PM

    I, too, was disgusted and horrified by this commercial when I first saw it. Then my dog did exactly the same thing on our light beige carpet a week later. Ewww is right. I spot cleaned, but a professional cleaning is definitely in my future. And I may call Stanley Whatever because, let's face it, they know what I'm dealing with.

  2. Anonymous2:19 AM


  3. Anonymous9:22 PM

    the dogs probably have worms and need to see a vet.

  4. Mental note - don't read any Slimbo posts just as you take a swig of beer, unless you want it to come out via nose...

    Johnny, indeed. That was an unnerving immpression, and now the mental picture is going through my head...