
June eating pickles for breakfast. (That's my girl!)
"Why is it called a bathroom? It's not just a bath room. It's got a toilet and a sink and a door..."
Question: What would you consider to be seasonally appropriate colors?Here's the trouble. There are no green-filled oreos in the package. There are only red-filled oreos. And red in the absence of green doesn't feel particularly Christmas-y or wintry at all. Red alone, I'd argue, is a very un-wintry color. And it get's worse, because the red isn't exactly alone. It's red creme sandwiched between two black-brown cookie wafers. And the combination of saturated red and near-black, to my eye, takes on an almost diabolical aspect, like maybe something little Danny would find in the refrigerator at the Overlook Hotel: Oreos of blood!
Most common anwer: Red and green.*
"Problem": Carrying a pot of boiling pasta from the stove to the sink.I'm dubious. It seems to me that using one's bare hands to lift a heat-conducting all-metal basket full of hot pasta directly from a pot of boiling steaming water is a recipe for mommy-burned-her-hand-so-we'll-be-eating-dinner-from-the-Emergency-Room-vending-machine-tonight. But what do I know? Clearly the strategy works. Similar logic is used to sell everything from bunion scratchers to... well, just about any bit of silliness one can imagine? Are there limits? Is anything too silly? Too absurd?
Depiction of the "problem": A grimacing housewife straining under the weight of the pot, attempting to heave it over to the sink, sloshing scalding water all over herself.
"Solution": Their special wire-mesh "chef's basket".
Depiction of their "solution: A smiling, happy housewife effortlessly lifting a "chef's basket" full of fresh-boiled pasta out of simmering pot, cheerfully whisking it over to wherever it needs to be.
"Problem": Glasses tend to slip down one's nose.(Hmm, actually not a bad idea. Nose tape... Nose tape! I'm gonna make a million!) What else? How far can it go?
Depiction of the "problem": A harried worker attempting to make an important business proposal; his glasses keep slipping; repeated exasperated attempts to keep them in place; at last, they fall to the floor, cracking. The proposal is a failure. The deal is lost.
"Solution": Nose tape!
Depiction of their "solution: Upon applying our special patented double-sided nose tape (only $19.95, plus shipping), he proceeds with confidence, wins the deal, the promotion, a big new house, a sports car. His life is perfect!